Postpartum depression or just depression?

WOW!!! you poor thing it could be postpartum but honestly regardless of what you just explained you need to see a councelor and talk about it cause you have went through a lot and no one needs to know and that is not being a baby they should be looking out for you. Please talk to someone a counselor or a doctor and they will be able to help you. You love your children and they may sense your sadness and stress and you dont want that. Take care and god bless